I'm not Planning...

I am not planning on being sick forever.  A thought so dangerous it's the equivalent to taking on Everest without Oxygen or a Sherpa.  A thought that came into my head without warning and I expelled it like an avalanche smothering it's very existence back to the recesses of my mind.  This is the thought that can decimate you.

This illness has a way of punishing those that begin to think that way…just try me, take me on and see what I will do to you.  You think you can walk around like a healthy person or someone fighting a different illness that gets rewarded for pushing through pain, pushing through fatigue, pushing through side effects of medications.  Oh never mind my sweetie…you just try me and see who will win.  Remember me?  I am the one that has evaded logic, evaded interest, evaded federal funding, evaded reason..I am the puppeteer pulling your strings so just give it a try and see how far you get.  I will have you bedridden, motionless, thoughtless, brain hurting, stomach wrenching, down so fast you won't know what hit you again.  So what was that thought you were having…You are not planning on being sick forever…well get in line honey I've got nothing but time.