Comfort and Joy

 

Comfort and Joy

As we dive into the holiday season, expectations seem to multiply. With full calendars, shopping lists, and gatherings, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Amidst this flurry of activity, kindness toward others can become an afterthought, and the first to diminish is often kindness toward ourselves. This neglect takes a toll on well-being and impacts the release of the brain’s feel-good hormones: dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin. These chemicals are designed to work in bursts, not as a constant stream, yet we’re pressured to stay upbeat as if being down is something to fix.

Each hormone plays a unique role in lifting mood. Dopamine rewards task completion—like checking off a to-do list. Serotonin stabilizes mood through walking, meditation, or time outdoors. Endorphins, released during laughter or exercise, reduce pain, while oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is triggered by connection—through a hug, petting an animal, or kindness. These moments offer brief but powerful boosts, never meant to sustain us indefinitely.

Dr. Loretta Breuning, founder of the Inner Mammal Institute, emphasizes that happiness isn’t constant. “You don’t build the skill [of happiness] when you're taught it should be effortless,” she explains. Dr. IsHak, a psychiatry professor at Cedars-Sinai, adds, “Acts of kindness must be repeated. Biochemically, you can’t live on the 3-4 minute oxytocin boost from a single act.” Kindness works best when practiced regularly—whether by holding the door for someone or sharing a smile.

One of my favorite memories with my first dog Sophie captures this perfectly. While walking through Elm Grove Park, I found a quiet bench donated by the Sane family, with a plaque that read, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” — Dalai Lama. Feeling grateful, I placed Sophie on the bench, her white fur bright against a pink bow, and took a photo I’ll always cherish. It reminded me that kindness and gratitude often come in the quietest ways.

As the season unfolds, music offers a cue to slow down: “The weather outside is frightful, but if you’ll really hold me tight, all the way home I’ll be warm.” Dean Martin’s lyrics capture how trust and kindness carry us through cold patches. Happiness isn’t about constant joy but about finding beauty in moments of connection, kindness, and gratitude.

This season, let’s embrace life’s natural rhythms and be kind to ourselves and others. Happiness isn’t about being joyful every moment—it’s about finding beauty in small acts of connection, kindness, and gratitude along the way. Wishing you comfort and joy this winter.